Night Thoughts

November, 2007

Of Mice and Mess

I flipped on the TV today while sorting laundry and got sucked into an “Oprah” show. What I saw astounded me: a lady had managed to clutter her 3200-square-foot home so deeply with “stuff” (not junk, mind you, but store-bought quality) that her grown children nominated her to be on Oprah’s “hoarders” episode.

When I tuned in, the professional organizers had cleared the house of everything and brought it to a warehouse, where it filled 10,000 square feet, sometimes nearly to the ceiling. There were 3,000 pairs of shoes. Tables of stuffed animals. Stacks of TVs. You name it, it was there.

Meanwhile, the crew had to kick the woman and her husband out of their house because once they decluttered it, they found the house was sick. Black mold had grown beneath all of the junk. In the finished basement there were mice and other rodents living under the stuff. The house was uninhabitable.

So what did the crew do? They completely renovated the home, replacing dry wall, windows, appliances, furniture — everything. Of course, it was all donated in exchange for advertising, as we were reminded several times, but it was new. They also professionally decorated the home with new paint, linens and accessories.

Now, I have no doubt this woman is sick. No healthy person would allow her home to get that cluttered. It was so bad, they hadn’t been able to have their family over for a meal in five years because the dining room was overrun with stuff. There was barely a path to their bed and bathroom. Three of the bedrooms were locked because they were filled to the ceilings.

So yes, she is sick. But it made ME sick to see this team come in and secure all of that free product for a couple who clearly could afford it themselves. After all, the money for her shopping addiction had to have come from somewhere. Couldn’t they have paid someone to clear out their cesspool of a house and then paid for the refurbishment themselves? With so many hardworking people out there who can’t afford homes, let alone 3200-square-foot ones filled with stuff because the owner cannot stop buying and her husband is unwilling to make her stop, it is appalling that this couple received such largesse.

And she won’t stop. She will for a while, but unless she gets psychiatric care for why she finds it so necessary to buy things and live in filth, she won’t change for good. I was chuckling when I saw the organizer guy showing them the baskets he put in the couple’s office and explaining how the mail should be put there, and then the closets he said are designed to keep her from hoarding. Really? It seemed like the floor and every tabletop worked well for her before. Why would a limited closet restrain her?

I know about hoarders — I’m married to one. Okay, maybe he’s a low-level hoarder, more of a pack rat. In any case, I have experienced the mentality to know that when people are not used to being organized, you can’t just give them bins and expect they will use them. I’ve bought all kinds of organizers for Rich’s receipts, pens, matches and other paraphernalia he “must” keep, but he doesn’t use them. For whatever reason, people who like to keep stuff don’t like it organized. I can’t understand it; I just accept it.

But this lady’s obsession was disgusting. Why no one, including her husband, had taken her aside and shaken some sense into her I’ll never understand. She admitted she occasionally would think about cleaning some of it out but then she just found it all too overwhelming. Sorry, lady, but that’s just pure laziness talking, in my opinion.

And then Oprah had to spiritualize everything and remind those of us “standing in judgment” that we may not have homes full of clutter, but we all have clutter in our lives somewhere. May be true, but give me a break. Whatever intangible clutter I might have in my life isn’t allowing black mold and mice to invade my home, or keeping my family from visiting.

As a writer, it never ceases to amaze me how fascinating people are. If I wrote this lady into a novel, no one would believe her character. Truth is better than fiction. And yuckier sometimes, too.

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November 16, 2007 | 2 Comments | View or add comments
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